Sorry, but I have to get on my high horse and rant about the foster care system again.
You have now been WARNED!
Read on if you dare! ;)
When my husband and I decided to take the classes to become foster parents, we were told that the foster care system is in place to do what is best for the children.
Within 2 months of having the girls with us, I could already tell that that was not the case.
The children are left to ask why can't I stay with my mommy/daddy? They are left to cry when they have to leave mommy/daddy. They are left to be subject to such deep emotional scars that they will never completely heal.
I was so mad after the girls 3 month court case because not ONE person asked how the girls were doing. How were they handling the changes in visits? How were their behaviors? How do they talk about their parents? NOTHING. Not. One. Question.
The only people involved in the court case were the attorneys, the therapist, and the girls' workers.
The daily logs I have to fill out go to OUR worker and she is in NO way involved in the court case.
The only people that truly know what is really going on with the girls and how all of this nightmare is affecting them are not involved in the court case at all.
No questions asked.
Next month we will be having the 6 month court case. As we are nearing that day, I start to think how things have gone over the past 2 months.
Missy, has made a BIG change for the better.
The daily tantrums have stopped and only appear now and again.
Little Miss seems to have adjusted better also, she is still majorly attached to me, but she is less fussy overall.
The other thing that we have dealt with, with Missy is anxiety. A handful of times she has obviously been worried about an upcoming visit, phone call (or lack thereof), or some other random thing and actually made herself sick. She throws up.
I'm starting to get to the point that after it happens, I can put together the pieces of the puzzle and say well I shouldn't be surprised because she was obviously getting herself worked up all day.
So hopefully I'm getting to the point where I'll be able to tell when it's coming before the puke ends up all over my floor!
As a last note, I have to mention that I purposely called the girls worker before the last court case just to kind of let her know what was going on with the girls.
I was promptly assured by her that these things behaviors "are completely normal" for children in their situation.
I wish my mind had not been so blown that I would have thought of this immediately and told her that it might be normal for their situation, but it in no way is NORMAL for an average child!
We shouldn't be striving for "normal" in foster care, we should be striving for NORMAL for any child!