Thursday, October 23, 2014

Downfall of our society

I wrote this post shortly after starting to do foster care, so it has obviously been sitting on the virtual book shelf for awhile since we have not even had the girls for 4 months now. So take into account that that is where this thought process was coming from...

It's no secret that our society as a whole has become a complete mess! Since starting to do foster care, I've come to a new realization of just how messed up it really is. Children go into foster care for all kinds of different things. Often times, these children have faced and endured things that NO child should ever have to go through. THEN, once they are in foster care, it is only half the battle. When working on reintegration, the children are passed back and forth from the foster family to the parents and back again. Rules are different, parenting techniques are different, and the emotional side effects on the children are heart breaking. Do you know what the saddest part of it all is?!
The children had NOTHING to do with getting themselves into such a mess. They just happened to have parents that couldn't keep it together enough to keep their children.
 
Seeing all of that first hand has gotten my husband and I to discuss such things quite frequently. There is another scenario where children pay a high price for the parents decisions. That scenario is divorce. When parents, for whatever reason decide that it is "best" to get a divorce, they have basically said that what they want is more important than what their children will have to endure after the divorce is finalized. Why is this such a bad situation you may ask? Well, because it is essentially the same concept as foster care except that the parents enter into it willingly. Parents willingly say, lets split our time with the kids. You take them this week, I'll take them next. Never one place to call home, never one set of rules, never an ounce of stability. Then the parents often, willingly bring in a new spouse that can complicate the whole thing for the children even more!
(Now I must say that in a case of infidelity, there may be grounds for divorce. The Bible even says so, but still I think a person must first think about how a divorce would affect their family before taking such a huge step.)
 
Now my last scenario, is going to be the stickiest of all. I'm sure plenty of people will think I'm going just a bit too far, but I'm going to go ahead and say it. If you've stuck around here for long, you must have some of the same thoughts and beliefs as I and I think you'll be able to handle this. The last scenario is daycare. How many perfectly happy married couples, send their children to daycare on a daily basis so that mommy can go to work? At least in this case, the children have interaction with their parents on a daily basis, sleep under ONE roof and have the stability of ONE home and TWO loving parents working together. In reality though, everyday those parents are sending their children off to be raised by someone else, with different rules and different beliefs.
(I do realize that in some cases mother's do indeed have to work and I'm not saying that you are a bad person if that is the case. I also realize that in some cases, people are able to find a daycare that has the same basic rules and beliefs as their own, but that is a rare thing to treasure if you are one of those lucky few.)
 
What all three of these scenarios boil down to is that, they all leave the children with multiple people in their lives acting as care giver, provider and nurturer. These children live by different rules depending on which place they are currently in, go back and forth from here and there, and are given less time to be trained and brought up in the way that God intended. I believe the emotional side effects of such things, are very high for children since they never have the stability of ONE home where they daily know what the schedule will be and know that their mommy will be the one taking the main roll of care giver.
 
In conclusion then, these are all things that contribute to the downfall of our society as a whole. Children are never given the chance to have a set of parents who are the TWO people they look to for all their basic needs and in the end don't get to see what a real working family looks like day in and day out. This in turn means that when those children have children of their own, they simply don't know how to be parents and the cycle is just begun again. 

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