Friday, October 3, 2014

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away...

I'm not sure this post will have a point or make any sense, for that matter.
Today as I was watching my little baby boy make his cute little faces, I realized that I've been on both sides of this life so to speak. I've sat with my mother, literally on her death bed and said good-bye to her within minutes of her death. I've also held two perfect baby boys seconds after they were born.
For some reason the thought of that is hard for me to comprehend.
"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:21b

Just let that sink in for a moment.
I don't think most people ever see the last moments of someone before they leave this earth. Most people do experience the birth of a child. I never expected I'd experience both of these things within months of each other.
My year has been a roller coaster of emotions and for whatever reason, this thought occurred to me today.
One of these events was terribly sad. I watched the last moments of life on this earth for the woman who God used to make it possible for me to have life. The woman who loved and cared for me for years.
The other event was one of great joy and that we had waited nearly 3 years for. I realized that all the pain of labor and delivering a baby were completely and totally worth it as I held a little person that I had never met, in my arms, yet love more than my own life.
Life is a crazy journey.
We waited nearly 3 years to have our second baby. In those 3 years, there were months and months of waiting for 2 lines to show up on a stick. There were two babies, I will never meet on this earth.
One day my Mom told me she had cancer. She had some tests done and was told she had 2 weeks to 2 months to live. It's frightening what the end stages of cancer can do in 7 weeks. Four months before I had my baby, we buried my mother.
It's just the cycle of life, but for some reason, it's hard for me to wrap my head around right now.
While still being sad and missing my Mom, we were overjoyed by the birth of that little boy! It's amazing how God made us to be able to process so many emotions all at once.
Well, I'm done rambling for today and like I said, I don't know if this post made any sense or had any kind of point, but this is a glimpse inside my head...

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